Thank You Girls, Thank You God

Dear Phoebe and Abigail,
God gave me you two, to nurture, and love, and take care of. He entrusted to me, the job of bringing you up to love and serve the Lord.
I'm doing my best to be the kind of mom that God wants me to be.
I fail, I know that. I sometimes yell too much. I am selfish at times and want to be left alone. I get mad when things don't go my way.
I'm learning girls. I ask God to show me what he wants me to do to raise you. Sometime I don't do as He says.
I need to keep that in mind when you two don't do what I say.
So how cool, girls... we are all daughters to God. That makes us sisters in Christ! Not only do we have the bond of family, but also the bond of being one with Christ.

Phoebe: Your beauty takes my breath away at times. I look at you and sometimes can't believe that I gave birth to you. You really are a very pretty girl. The brains that God gave you amazes me. I thank God that you got that gift not only from God, but also from your dad. I pray that you use them to your best ability, and also for God's purpose for your life. Please hold out on wanting to be grown up. I know you think it's cool, but trust me, it's not cool to your mom. I am loving your age, and seeing that indeed you are growing up. One year at a time OK? I love you. Alot, even though you may not think that at times.

Abigail: Girl, you crack me up! You don't even try to be funny, you just are. You bring joy to me every day. You are always quick with a hug and kiss. I love how you want to stay little. That my dear, is fine with me. God has given you a great gift and talent of drawing. I pray that you do with it what God has intended for your life. I think your beauty is stunning! I never tire of looking at you. You make it easy to be a mom. Please carry that in to your teen years. I love you much.

God: Thank you for entrusting these two precious, beautiful girls to me. I'm trying, I'm trying, you know I'm trying to do my best. Continue to guide me in the raising of my daughters. Thank you for giving me my mother as a great example of how to raise girls. I find myself doing much of what she did. I hated a lot of it growing up, but I see it now as the perfect and right thing to do with my girls. I wish she was here today so I could tell her. You can tell her for me. Tell her hi, I miss her, and I love her too.

To my 3 children in heaven, I would have loved taking care of you here on earth. What fun a family of 5 kids would be. I smile thinking about it. God had other plans, and I know His plans are greater than mine could ever be. I know I will see all of you someday in heaven. What a joyful time that will be. Until then, know that you are loved and that you were all a huge part of making me the mother I am today.

Phoebe and Abigail, Thank you for making my job as a mom pretty easy. It's not always fun, but for the most part, you're real good kids and it is a blessing to be called your mom.
I am proud to be given the title of Mom, and to be a part of why we celebrate this day we call Mother's Day.

Love, Mom

Happy Mother's Day

Wishing all of you moms a happy, rested Mother's Day. Any guys reading this? Treat your mom extra wonderful today.

I'll be away from the computer today getting treated wonderful myself. (After I shower the kids, and make breakfast, before we go to church.) (we really never get a break)

To my mother: Hey mother...wish you were here. I know heaven is better than being here, but you are missed. My girls need a grandma like you. I need to come to you for advice. And also to apologize for doing some rotten things, when I was a kid. When my girls act up, I'm feeling what you must have felt, when I acted up. Sorry! :-}
I'm finding myself doing the things you did, swearing that I would never do with my kids. Yup, you were right. And when I always said I never wanted children, and you told me you felt sorry for me...you were right again. Children are a wonderful gift from God. I guess you know that. You had eight! I miss you, and and sooo look forward to seeing you in heaven. What a glorious day that will be.


Happy Mother's Day

It happened overnight.

I was sitting here at my computer, when Phoebe came downstairs from sleeping. She had a slight fever last night, and I wanted to see how she was feeling today. (She's fine, no fever)

She walks up to me and I had to take a double take. Where was the Phoebe I saw yesterday?

There is no doubt in my mind, that she grew overnight!

I'm not sure how much, but she got taller.

I'm finding myself staring at her as she moves about the house. She was walking down the hall, and I had to stop and look.

I mentioned this to Perry, and he thinks I'm cuckoo. He didn't use that word, but he just laughed at me like "ya sure Steph, whatever!!"

I'm her mother, I know my child, and she grew. I just know it.

Last week, I was helping her with her shower. I was going to help her get out and dry off, comb her hair, like I have been doing since her birth.

She said to me that she can now do this by herself, and can I step aside please.

I told her that I was sad that she was growing up and didn't need me anymore. Her reply was...

"MOM!, I'll always need you!"

WAHHHHHH. The best Mother's Day gift ever.

January 24, 2005

In remembrance of my mother who died this day, 4 years ago.

My mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2004. I never knew anyone who took this so well, and was not afraid to die. She comforted her 8 children through this, more then we did her. 3 of my sisters went with her when she was told this horrible news, and when they were walking out, one of my sisters was crying so bad. My mother kept turning around and saying to her, "now stop that crying, I'm ok with this". My sister tried to stop but couldn't, and my mother just kept on with her. "Will you stop crying!" Cracks me up. I can just hear her tone of voice, still yelling at her kids to shape up. She didn't want us to be sad or afraid for her. Man, she took this so well.
She went through surgery and radiation, but it was so aggressive that it just grew back.
I didn't get to go through this with her because I was living in North Carolina and only could "be there" through phone calls. I was planning on visiting in February, but my sister-in-law told me I better make it right away because she was not doing well. So I came up in January. My mom couldn't talk, but could see and hear just fine. Nobody told her I was going to come, and when I walked in her room, and came up to her to say hi....oh my gosh, I'll never forget the look on her face. Her eyes got so big with surprise, and she squeezed my hand. It was so nice. Her memory loss from the tumor was short term memory, but her long term was still there, and she knew who all her kids were.

I spent all week there, having a great visit, telling her I accepted her going "home" and I would see her in heaven when I got there. She was so ready. My sister and I were with her until about midnight on the 23rd. An hour later we got the call from our brother that she had passed. Knowing her, she no doubt wanted some privacy with her going, that she waited until we left to do so. Hearing what people had to say about her at her funeral was amazing. She was a good person, she was a great mother. She is missed very much. Heaven is a beautiful place with her in it and I can't wait for you to meet her.