Mother's usually have good advice

As I was growing up, my mother always told me to have good underwear on in case I ever had to go to the hospital because of an accident. I should have listened to her advice today.
No, I was not in an accident but I did have to go to the doctor for a strange rash.
The rash is on my side, between my bra and undies. No need to be undressed for anything right?
Wrong. The doctor took a look then decided he wanted to humiliate me by searching the rest of my body for the rash. This was a new doctor and I have no idea where he's from, but he talked like this. "I vant to sorch the rest of your baaaday vor rashes." I knew there wasn't any, but he threw a gown at me and went to get a nurse. I did get to keep my bra and undies on though. Quickly I scanned my undies hoping they are decent ones. Decent enough but not my best. No holes, but kinda thin. I washed a pen with my clothes at one time and these undies had some ink stains on them. So did the bra I was wearing. Needless to say I was beet red as he's searching my "bot" and my "brrreasts". Not so much over the fact that he's searching me, but over the lack of nice undergarments. I was then humiliated that the nurse was watching me die over this whole thing. At least I thought to shave my armpits this morning. I did yesterday too, but made a quick swipe again today. He needed to search my "onderarms".
It's now over and he proceeds to tell me that I have Lyme disease. That's what I thought it was too. I'm not surprised. I've been traipsing around in the woods geocaching for several weeks now. Some rotten little tick bit me and gave me this disease. As the doctor said, if I would have known I was bit within 36 "howers" I could have one shot and that would have been it. But it's 3 weeks of horse pills with some nasty side effects. But I'll take the side effects over the stuff that could happen if left untreated.
Moral of the story... make sure you have nice undergarments on no matter what!