January 24, 2005

In remembrance of my mother who died this day, 4 years ago.

My mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2004. I never knew anyone who took this so well, and was not afraid to die. She comforted her 8 children through this, more then we did her. 3 of my sisters went with her when she was told this horrible news, and when they were walking out, one of my sisters was crying so bad. My mother kept turning around and saying to her, "now stop that crying, I'm ok with this". My sister tried to stop but couldn't, and my mother just kept on with her. "Will you stop crying!" Cracks me up. I can just hear her tone of voice, still yelling at her kids to shape up. She didn't want us to be sad or afraid for her. Man, she took this so well.
She went through surgery and radiation, but it was so aggressive that it just grew back.
I didn't get to go through this with her because I was living in North Carolina and only could "be there" through phone calls. I was planning on visiting in February, but my sister-in-law told me I better make it right away because she was not doing well. So I came up in January. My mom couldn't talk, but could see and hear just fine. Nobody told her I was going to come, and when I walked in her room, and came up to her to say hi....oh my gosh, I'll never forget the look on her face. Her eyes got so big with surprise, and she squeezed my hand. It was so nice. Her memory loss from the tumor was short term memory, but her long term was still there, and she knew who all her kids were.

I spent all week there, having a great visit, telling her I accepted her going "home" and I would see her in heaven when I got there. She was so ready. My sister and I were with her until about midnight on the 23rd. An hour later we got the call from our brother that she had passed. Knowing her, she no doubt wanted some privacy with her going, that she waited until we left to do so. Hearing what people had to say about her at her funeral was amazing. She was a good person, she was a great mother. She is missed very much. Heaven is a beautiful place with her in it and I can't wait for you to meet her.