This post first debuted back in October, when I had no followers and no readers. I feel you all missed out. HA! I'll let you be the judge. Heck yeah this is a true story. The story of how I feel about certain parts of womanhood. Rachel@OnceUponAMiracle started this. Visit her.
My Friend?
When I was a teen, and would get my period, my mother would call it my "friend".
There have been times when "she" would come around, (like when I didn't want to be pregnant) and yes, I would say she was a friend. But for the rest of those 33 years, friend is not a word I would use. Not a good friend anyway.
Being in my late 40's now, my "friend" is really bugging me. A period means, "end of sentence". So end my sentence already, will ya?! She used to come and visit every 26-28 days, and stay about 3-4 days. An ok visit, but I'm glad she didn't live here. Lately, my "friend" seems to want to hang around longer, and come to visit sooner. I did not invite her to do this. Every 21 days is too close of a visit for me. And to top it off, she brings along her "friends", Miss Lotta Cramps, and Miss Flo Allweek. Not to mention Mrs. Tightndry who likes to put her two cents in when my husband is...oh nevermind.
I know, I know, soon "my friends" will be out of my life forever, and then some other "friends" will show up at my door. I heard about that hot, flashy little number who shows up at the most inopportune time. What's up with her?
I am so done with these visitors. You did your job, now dry up and go away. You are really getting annoying, and because of you I am snapping at my family. I am not a crazy maniac, but your visits are turning me into one. Like I said earlier, you were ok to me all these years, but now you are bugging me. I promise I will tell my girls about you and I will be nice.
Maybe I'll miss you and maybe I won't. If you left for good today, I have to vote, not missing you. A hundred years from now, when I'm a brittle old lady, breaking every bone in my body just by sneezing, I will fondly remember the days that you were with me, and vote, miss you.
There have been times when "she" would come around, (like when I didn't want to be pregnant) and yes, I would say she was a friend. But for the rest of those 33 years, friend is not a word I would use. Not a good friend anyway.
Being in my late 40's now, my "friend" is really bugging me. A period means, "end of sentence". So end my sentence already, will ya?! She used to come and visit every 26-28 days, and stay about 3-4 days. An ok visit, but I'm glad she didn't live here. Lately, my "friend" seems to want to hang around longer, and come to visit sooner. I did not invite her to do this. Every 21 days is too close of a visit for me. And to top it off, she brings along her "friends", Miss Lotta Cramps, and Miss Flo Allweek. Not to mention Mrs. Tightndry who likes to put her two cents in when my husband is...oh nevermind.
I know, I know, soon "my friends" will be out of my life forever, and then some other "friends" will show up at my door. I heard about that hot, flashy little number who shows up at the most inopportune time. What's up with her?
I am so done with these visitors. You did your job, now dry up and go away. You are really getting annoying, and because of you I am snapping at my family. I am not a crazy maniac, but your visits are turning me into one. Like I said earlier, you were ok to me all these years, but now you are bugging me. I promise I will tell my girls about you and I will be nice.
Maybe I'll miss you and maybe I won't. If you left for good today, I have to vote, not missing you. A hundred years from now, when I'm a brittle old lady, breaking every bone in my body just by sneezing, I will fondly remember the days that you were with me, and vote, miss you.
13 comments:
Very well written.
My friend is often "annoying" yes, but she doesn't bring Mrs. Lotta Cramps with her, so I really can't complain. Mrs. Annoying my only visitor.
=0) I'll just thank my lucky stars and move on!
Oh so funny! And another reason to love pregnancy!
Can I admit that I actually read that post when it was first published? But I was shy enough not to leave a comment.
I even cracked up and showed my husband the "putting his two cents in" part. Somehow he wasn't as amused as I was, LOL.
Thanks for joining in - what fun!
My "friend" acted the same way for about two years, and I finally "unfriended" her in December (I don't recall ever saying "yes" to the friend request in the first place, either!). But the evil twins who came in her place, Manic and Depressive (or Bi and Polar.. not sure which) are far less welcome. Stupid Eve. Darn her craving for fruit.
I've been friendless for...uh...almost 2 years now. I wish she'd come back so I could plan my life around her and not get knocked up again, yo. ;-)
Thanks for the comment on my kitchen...I love yours and the sunroom off of the kitchen is great!!! Uh, as far as a period being a friend....not so much for me! :) I'm about to have endometrial ablation where I don't have to have them anymore!! YEA!! :) Happy Tuesday!
Had an endometrial ablation 5 years ago and it has been the most wonderful thing ever!! :D
Definitely don't miss my "friend"!!
ahhhh. i remember reading this post way back when. :0) too funny.
Great post, Stephanie. Too funny! I'm not sure I've ever referred to 'my friend' as 'my friend'. :)
That was too funny. I am so with ya. I wish my friend would not come uninvited all the time it drives me crazy..I like schedules, maybe she didn't get that memo.
Well, I must say I am happy when "my aunt" leaves town each month.
LOL!
Glad to have had a chance to read your true story!
ROTFL!!! :-) Thanks for sharing. Hehehe!
Oh my goodness, I am cracking up. My "Friend" is starting to act up lately too. My friend has the same ugly characteristics as your friend. UGH...
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