He wants to do WHAT?!

This morning I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning.
I didn't realize that it's been 1 and a half years since my last cleaning.
Where did that time go? But since I'm a frequent brusher and flosser, I was not worried.

Since it's been that long, I had some extra tarter buildup.
I'm told I have excess tarter anyway, so waiting that long between cleanings made for a fun time.

First she blasts the top layer with a hand held sandblaster.
I was ready to go through the roof every time she hit a nerve.
Not to mention the high pitched squeal the machine made, that only a dog should have heard.
Can you say irritating? I did.

So after forever, she starts with the scraping off the rest of the plaque.
I was so close to telling her "enough"! "I'm outta here".
But I stayed like a good little patient.

Next comes the polishing.
Another high pitched squealing machine that blasts water and baking soda onto my teeth to make them shiny.
I'm handed some safety glasses to protect me from the aftershock of the blast.

On to the flossing. Lady...I flossed before I came, but go ahead, torture my already sore gums some more.

All finished?
No. I have yet to meet with the dentist.

The guy has got to be almost 80 if he's not yet, and I do admire his knowledge. However, he is one to push his services on his patients.

Today was no different.
I know what he's saying is true, and if I don't watch it, my teeth will fall out eventually. That, I do not want to happen!

So this is what he tells me.

The nerves of my two bottom center teeth are exposed, and there is little bone left to hold them in. Yes I see that, my question is how long will this little bone I have last? 1 year? 20 years?
Oh first let me tell you what he had to do to come to that conclusion.
He pulls my bottom lip out past my nose and tells me by pulling on this, it makes for little gum left to hold my teeth in.

Uh, excuse me...Dr. Dentist...DON'T PULL MY BOTTOM LIP AND I SHOULD BE FINE!

Anyway, here's his solution.
Him: "We will make a slice right here in your gums under the bottom teeth. Then we will cut out a chunk from the roof of your mouth and graft it to the sliced bottom gum and in about 10 days check out how it's sealing up. We will sew it together with dental floss. HUH?!

I must have looked quite pale at the time, because he quickly added that if I'm scared he will give me happy gas, and numb it up real good.
It's not the pain, I can handle the pain. I don't get nervous with dental work. I'm not one for happy gas. I had it once and sure I was happy, but that feeling is just way to weird for me.

It was the description of what he was going to do to my mouth. Slice, cut, graft, stitch with dental floss. I didn't know this was even possible.

And just what will I look like with this newly grafted chunk of skin on the lower half of my mouth? I picture Rocky Balboa after he gets the snot beat out of him. "Cut me, cut me"
I know he was talking about his eye, but I feel I will be saying that about my lower lip.

Crap. So my happy little dentist is going to have this submitted to our insurance co. and let me know in a few weeks what the damages will be.
He keeps telling us we have good insurance and we should use it while we can. Yes dr. and in the meantime fill your pockets as well.
He so conveniently finds something every other year for Perry and I.
We are still paying on the last 2 years worth. Boy, just imagine if we didn't have that wonderful insurance that he says we have.

He smoozes me by telling me that such a young lady should have her own nice teeth, and not false ones.
OK, Mr. Dr., I was young when I first saw you back in 1968, and getting closer to 50 isn't exactly a young lady. And you, Mr. Dentist are close to or over 80, so yes, I guess I am a young lady to your eyes.

But you are right. I do not want false teeth, and if you need to slice, cut, and graft so I can keep my own teeth, then so be it. (SHUDDER)