My Word

So I'm in church Sunday, and our pastor is preaching on hearing our word from God. God has a word for each of us. Sometimes lots of words, but for now it's hearing the word that God wants us to deal with now.

So I'm driving to pick up Phoebe from school yesterday, and I'm asking God what my word is. Well leave it to God to tell me right away. It's not that I didn't want this word, I just wanted to make sure that it was His word for me. So, I'm asking Him, "is this the word?" Well, when tears pool up in your eyes that you can hardly see to drive, one can be sure that it is the word from God. So I kinda yell out, "Ok God, I'm trying to drive, and I can't see with these tears, I get it, that is my word, stop the tears please." My tears stopped. It's not that I was crying over the word, it was knowing that God was talking to me that got me teary.

What is my word you ask? ugh...it's TRUST.

So, I'm driving and trying to think of who am I not trusting. My husband. Yes, he came to mind. Actually he was the only person that came to mind. So my thoughts are whirring. He needs to be trusted with lots, as being the head of our household. He needs to be trusted when he's working away from home for a week at a time. I need to trust him to make the right decisions for our family. And it's not that he doesn't, I just want to be the one in control, and run the house, and make all the decisions. I know God doesn't want that though.

Actually, God was not using my word, trust, for humans. A little, but mainly for HIM.
I need to put all my trust in Him. All of it. Not to pick and choose, but trust Him with all my life, and everything and everybody in it. Ahhhhhhh. After fretting for only a brief moment, I accepted His word for me, and off I go, praying and reading His word ( the bible) to find out more about this word, trust, and what He wants of me.

So far this morning, God led me to Exodus 14:13 Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The word in that verse that really hit me was... today. Today!. I can do today. That's all I have is today. That's all God gave me was today. I need to trust God. No need to be afraid if I let God be in charge. If I stand firm,( in my trust), then the Lord will deliver me from whatever I am not trusting. Just today. Cool. This may have to be a minute by minute deal, but it will work as long as God is in charge.

And moving along to Ex. 14:14 The Lord will fight for you. You need only to be still.
Yay, great. He will fight for me. I don't have to do a thing, but be still. Ugh. That's my problem. I can't be still. Or I should say, I don't want to be still. I want to fight too. "I'll help You Lord. Or worse yet, "Move over Lord, I will take care of this." That does NOT work. Yet, I still go on with it. So I can see that, that is a big change I need to make in the trust department.

And then God leads me to Exodus 16:2 In the desert, the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. Ok, God, what's with that? Well, what was their cause of stress? It was their lack of trust in God. No kidding! Sometimes when I read about the Israelites and all they went through, and how God got them through soooo much, and fed them, yet they still complained, I think, "come on people. God is getting you through all this. Be grateful!" But, here I am, doing the same thing. Grumbling, complaining, not being grateful. I am just like them at times. I don't want to be. I want my trust to be in the Lord ALL the time. Oh, it is so hard. But you know, it's only hard, because I don't have God in the picture. I know God may have me go through hard times, but He is always right in front, leading me, right beside, helping me, and right behind, following me, and will always be there at the end, to welcome me with arms open wide for an embrace.

I am excited about this journey of trusting God in all things. His word is full of trust. I need to study this daily. I love the excitement I am feeling right now. There is no reason I can't have this every day. It is a peace that surpasses all understanding. I love that peace.

So today is today. I may not have tomorrow. Thank You God, for today. I pray I do all You want me to do in it. I trust You this minute. I pray my minutes continue into hours, and if my tomorrow comes, that my trust continues on. I love You Lord, and I lift my voice to worship You, oh my soul rejoice.